Going from this...
To This...
Has taught me a TON!! Its amazing how many little tricks and lessons you learned when you don't have any other option. Either survive with 2, or pull your hair out and end up hiding underneath a pile of laundry somewhere :).
I have been the pioneer of having two in my little group of friends and now, YAY, several of my close friends are having their second or have just had their second child. Many of them have asked me "Do you have any tips?" "How do you do it?" "Wasn't chasing around one hard enough?". So I decided to blog about surviving TWO!
TOP TEN TIPS TO SURVIVING TWO...
1. Take a deep breath! Everything takes a little longer and you are now required to get more people out of the door, into the store, into the shopping cart, into the car, back into the house in a safely manner. If you don't breathe and take it slow, your head might pop off :)
2. Start early on getting your kids to nap at the same time at lease 1x/day. I followed the babywise schedule (loosely) with Jack but have tweaked that some with my little L so that she has been kept awake long enough to be SUPER sleepy when Jack goes down at 12:30 and they both sleep 3 hours. (and to accomplish the missed feeding that occurs while she's still sleeping I feed her right before I put her down for her nap even if its only been an hour since she last ate, its ok to play around with the 3 hour feeding schedule, they get used to whatever you train them to get used to)
3. ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS have some favorite coffee (or tea) stashed away! We recently purchased an espresso maker and it is often times one of the only things that gets me up in the morning to know that I can have a homemade Americano in a matter of minutes.
Coffee (sometimes) = loving my kids better :)
4. Laugh! Derrick and I were in the car with both kids not long after L was born and they were both screaming because it was dinner time. Just laugh, its funny, you have your own private choir in the backseat and they almost ALWAYS decide to cry at the same time :). If you don't laugh it means you are taking life too seriously
5. Its ok to cry and its ok for them to cry. Sometimes you just need to cry and thats ok, crying (and lets be honest, sometimes cussing) makes it feel better. Also remember that its ok if they cry. At first Iwas panicky about making sure that all needs were met with my kids when they first expressed those needs. Obviously I would take care of their needs, but sometimes it's good for them, and you, to take it slow and deal with what you can when you can. For example: its lunchtime and you just walked in with groceries and two babies. They are both hungry and there is milk sitting in your car. Bring 2 yr old inside, put him in highchair with first lunch item you can quickly grab (grapes, banana, tortilla chips, popcorn, something to tide them over for a minute). Then place the baby in her bouncy chair, swing, on a blanket or in exercauser (its ok if shes screaming while you do a few other necessities, she will be fine!!). Go unload the groceries so they aren't sitting in the hot Florida sun and bring them inside but DONT feel the pressure to have to put them away right then, they can wait, your children may not have as long as an expiration date :). Finally, get your 2 yr old the rest of his lunch and then feed baby while 2 yr old is happy and eating in high chair. You'll get the hang of it, because you have to :).
6. Pray. This obviously should be number 1, but Im not necessarily ranking these in order of importance, just more or less a stream of thoughts. My mom always told me "Tell God about your kids more than you tell them about God." Obviously you should constantly be finding ways of teaching your child about God. But even more so, in every moment of the day, you should be talking to God about your kids. Talk to him about your sins against them, talk about areas they frustrate you and how you can learn patience, pray for their salvation, pray for them to have soft hearts that love Him and others, pray for them to stop pulling each other's hair :)
7. Keep a strong marriage as your foundation. I cannot stress this enough! The two of you cannot function as the core of the family if you are being selfish with one another, leaving conflict unresolved, and missing opportunities to love each other daily. Having a child is rough on your marriage. I think I was shocked at how tough it was to connect with Derrick throughout the day once we had Jack and especially now with having 2. Laugh a lot together, play with your children together and make sure you spend time one on one just catching up and talking to each other.
8. Find time to delight in your children one on one. One of my new favorite things to do with Jack ( NEVER would have said this before having 2) is to take him to Publix. I try to avoid taking both kids to the grocery store with me or often times, well... all hell breaks loose :). So in order to create some special time with Jack, and get my groceries, I take him with me. He LOVES the one on one mommy time and he is always excited about getting a cookie, a balloon and riding in the race car shopping cart (see tip #10, its like pushing a small train around!). I eat up this time with him! Remembering back when it was just he and I, I wish I hadn't fussed about the things I had, or been unnecessarily hard on him just because I was new at this whole mommy thing and felt the pressures of having to do it perfectly the first time. But even so, I treasure my one on one time with him now and even spoil him a bit from time to time. Of course I LOVE cuddling with my little Lucy and after Jack has gone to bed at night Derrick and I both enjoy some one on one time with her!! She loves it and so do we!
9. Find time to delight in your children together. Once you get a schedule underway and feel like you can safely venture out into public without hurting anyone or leaving anyone behind accidentally, try to find some fun activities you enjoy doing with both children. This will enable them to get out of the house for some fun and allow you to delight in each child as they function together as a whole as "your children." My FAVORITE thing to do with my little two is go to Lake Lotus Park. Jack can safely run around on the boardwalks and explore the playground without me having to worry about him running in the street and I can easily feed lucy while observing Jack climbing and swinging on the playground. After I am done feeding her we usually take a stroll on the boardwalk and both kiddos love exploring nature and watching their surroundings. Jack particularly loves seeing the gators and turtles. It's just me and my two kiddos, enjoying life together, peacefully, in God's creation. What could be better!?? Oh yeah, and they have a tram you get to ride to get back to the parking lot. Jack's FAVORITE!! (LOVE watching him light up as we ride the "choo choo")
10. You may be expecting some incredibly enlightening last tip where I sum up everything in to one great tip such as, "Love your children well", or "Its going to be alright, you can do it!" But no, here is #10...
Always, ALWAYS have a game plan before walking into the store!!! First make sure you know the grocery cart situation at each store. Do they have a place for your larger child to be contained? Can you fit the infant car seat somewhere in the cart AND fit your economy sized boxes of diapers somewhere as well? Do they have the mini train sized Race Car shopping cart that will necessitate both children and all of your groceries? If you are going to a pharmacy be warned their carts are TINY, you are better off sticking both kids into the double stroller and taking them inside that way assuming you don't have a lot to buy! Prepare snacks and sippy cups/bottles ahead of time, maybe even throw in a book or small toy. Go to the bakery first and get a cookie for your 2 yr old, it will keep them busy until Aisle 7, maybe 8 if they are a slow eater. (maybe even grab one for youself!). Don't be ashamed to eat out of your groceries while you are there, youre paying for them aren't you? Mommy can't starve either! Always, pack enough diapers/wipes and extra clothes because somehow your children may both decide to have total blowouts just as you are making your banana selections and still have the rest of the store to get through before being able to get them home and cleaned. If you can successfully survive the grocery store with 2 or more children you should be rewarded with a gold metal! If you can do that, you can survive 2!
Its all uphill from there :).
